Where are the RequestCasts?
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Author:  vewatkin [ June 24th, 2013 16:52:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Where are the RequestCasts?

I paid good money for my year-long subscription to RequestCast. I know you have no shortage of requests to use, because you have used none of mine, and Jack Masters sent you several thousand, dozens of which were plausibly usable.

If the RequestCast series has been terminated, please refund the $5.00 that I gave to your sales representative on the bench near the bus stop. I would be willing to pick up the refund in person from your sales rep, but I have not seen him there recently.

Author:  Lewis Powell [ June 26th, 2013 21:38:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Where are the RequestCasts?

Ben says to expect the next request cast in two weeks.

He doesn't know where your bus stop is, but if you show up at his bus stop, he'll be happy to refund your money.

Author:  vewatkin [ June 27th, 2013 12:10:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Where are the RequestCasts?

That's a pretty funny joke, but we should explain it so that everyone else on the forum can understand.

Right after I started this thread, I began to understand that the sales rep was communicating to me through the words on church signs along my bus route. One sign said, "We are never so lost that God cannot find us." You will note immediately, as I did, that the letters L-E-W-I-S are cleverly concealed within this message, thereby indicating not only that the church sign was a deliberate communication from RequestCast, but that the sales rep who had been communicating to me all along was none other than Lewis himself.

I snuck back at night and stole the letters (L-E-W-I-S) and put them in a plastic bag and left them in a mailbox outside the post office. I knew that the post office would recognize the source of the letters and return them, and that way Lewis would know that I got his message. I let two days go by, though, and I didn't get any reply, so I started to get a little anxious, and was afraid that I had been tricked. I went into the church and asked a woman in the foyer who had told them to put that message on their sign, but she said she had nothing to do with the sign, that the messages were selected by the pastor. I asked where the pastor was, and whether he was named Lewis, and why he was fucking with me, but she must have been busy or on her period or something because she just ended up calling the police and telling me I had better go.

But even though she just told me to go, before I could walk out the door she asked whether I had stolen the letters from their sign, which was a slip-up, because before she said she had nothing to do with the sign and now she was saying that it was her sign, so I knew that she was the one that left the message. I didn't want to mess with the police, though, so I took off running.

I didn't realize until later, when Jack Masters was telling me about all the people getting sex changes, that the woman at the church actually was Lewis. I don't know whether he had a sex a change, I just mean that the discussion got me thinking.

So I went to the church during Sunday services, and I didn't even see Lewis around. But when they passed around the donation plate, there was a crisp $5 bill on it, like a bill so new and clean that it was obvious that no one had actually donated it, because no one could have been carrying it around in their wallet or purse, because it would have gotten folded or dirty or smudged or crumpled, and this bill was perfect, meaning it had come right off the mint, probably because Lewis knows that my contacts in Washington would have been able to tell me if any money I had been given was counterfeit, so there was no point in wasting either of our time with a shitty-looking bill that I'd have to mail off to the Secret Service to have analyzed, and if it were fake they'd be able to find Lewis's DNA all over it and then he'd be in big trouble, so it was just like a peace offering to give me that clean bill, to say, "Hey, you don't even have to waste your time checking. This is the real thing."

So now Lewis comes on here and pretends not only like he didn't already pay me, but that Ben is obliged to do so, which is funny because it's like he's scamming Ben out of $5 for my benefit, probably because he respects me so much for being able to track him down and figure out what he was trying to pull. But I wouldn't do that to Ben, because all I was owed is $5 and that's what I got, so it would be wrong to take advantage. I don't even know whether Ben knows that Lewis is charging people to go to the site. It seems like anyone who wanted to could go to the site for free, since there's no password to put in or membership to acquire.

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